Disney's Most Dated - Ellen's Energy Adventure

Few creations are timeless enough to be enjoyed steadily through the decades.  Most go through phases of being cutting edge, new, around, tired, tacky,  embarrassing, ironic, kitsch, nostalgic, and if they're lucky, a standard.

Some attractions manage to skip a lot of the middle.  Take the Country Bears.  This was made in a direct response to a fad for hillbilly music in the 60s, but nobody knows that now.  People either like it or don't, but it doesn't feel dated.

Let's start with an attraction that has beaten the odds so far but is just barely hanging on: Ellen's Energy Adventure.



This has three major elements that had no right being popular past the 1990s - Ellen Degeneres, Bill Nye, and Jeopardy.  If anything, Ellen and Nye are even more respected now.

Defying all odds, this attraction has aged rather well.  We'll some that haven't in later installments.

Trip Report

Magic Kingdom

How is there not a "Vaping Dads of Disney" tumblr?

The new queue at Peter Pan was nice.  Interactive for all of four seconds, but nice.

Tom Sawyer Island: Animatronics!  The fortress in the back always seemed like it should have had something moving there, but all I can remember is the snoring prisoner.  Not much going on, but some minor shifting around in the blacksmith's room.

Epcot

Found kimchee in China, at the Lotus Blossom Cafe.  Ask for cabbage side dish and you can get for under $3.

They really need to do something with the Imagination Pavilion.  In the area near the gift shop, where you can pay to have your head photoshopped onto a picture like anyone can do on their phone for free, there looked to be an actual lab of some kind half hidden behind giant curtains.  More of a photo lab than a science lab, but it looked very out of place.

Animal Kingdom

They're really going through with this Avatar nonsense.  Huge show building being built in full view from the road.

Korean BBQ Chicken is a goddamn lie.  Barely qualifies as sweet and sour chicken.  They could have pulled a Wendys and poured bibigo sauce on chicken nuggets and done better.

Kilimanjaro Safari is 100% narrative free.  Mine didn't even have the rickety bridge, but we can delayed by pooping zebras.

Hollywood Studios

Let's look at all the attractions that have closed and remain unreplaced:

• Sounds Dangerous
• America Idol Experience
• The Legend of Captain Jack Sparrow
• Backlot Tour

Nothing I'd want back, but that's a lot of missing real estate.  There were long lines that day and it still felt like a half-day park.

Great Movie Ride: I got the cowboy!  Never even seen that act before, and the fireball took me by surprise.  Robert Osborne now narrates the ride and the poor CM has like three lines left.  They either need to go full Jungle Cruise and mix it up a little, or Living with the Land and get rid of live operator altogether.  I was up front, and there was a manager taking notes as the CM screwed up his lines.  I'm guessing early June sees some new employees.  New video sequence at the end, minus Shanghai Knights.  The alien from Alien was working for the first time in forever.

Overall

I don't know if the new fast pass magic plus fantasy advance my magical experience whatever has actually increased wait times, but it feels like it.  Towards the end of some queues the standby line felt like a single rider line, where they let you in only after all the FP folks are gone.  Given that figuring out their horrible app or website is ten times more of a pain than going to a kiosk, I'm surprised that more people seem to be using it.

Phantasialand - Mystery Castle

Haunted house / mad scientist themed walkthrough queue to a bungee drop ride.

Phantasialand - Chiapas

Long themed log flume with backwards segments.

Phantasialand - River Quest

This one's interesting.  Highly themed whitewater raft ride with a dry, omnimover load & unload and an elevator.  I like how it has a small footprint and flows in concentric circles for a bit.