Things I Didn't Finish - Apesh*t by Carlton Mellick III

Apesh*t
by Carlton Mellick III
2008 Avant Punk Books

Years ago I thought I might actually enjoy a Carlton Mellick III book.  By the time I got around to reading one, I had soured on the idea of bizarro fiction as talentless, pretentious, hipster irony.  So this was going to be a bit of a hate read from the jump, though I picked a title I thought I'd most enjoy.  After beginning, I not only stand by my initial impression but am convinced that the entire genre was written to personally piss me off.

Let's start with the Author's Note, because every great author writes about himself first.  He had the idea of writing a script for a slasher movie, but not your grandpa's slasher movie!  The killer would have a chainsaw mullet and corndogs for blood!  How totally random!  But instead, like his literary peer Harlan Ellison, the story took a life of it's own and went in a different direction.

No real point to this Author's Note except to say that, like his buddy Chuck Palahniuk, he's accused of writing shocking stuff for the sake of being shocking, and he isn't really (he is).  Also, he knows Chuck Palahniuk.

On to the actual page and a half of story I managed, during which Mellick dug himself so deep under the barrel he's hanging out with moloids.  Keeping true to its origins as a script idea, it's written in present tense and lifeless, repetitive prose.  Strict "see dick run" sentence construction, and all tell and no show.  Maybe Chuck can suggest a better editor.

And no, I'm not linking to his $9 novella, you can keep your affiliate money.